Author: Techno Tink

Black Swarm (R: 2007)

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Black Swarm

(R: 2007)

Director: David Winning. Starring: Sebastien Roberts … Devin Hall / Dan Hall; Sarah Allen … Jane Kozik; Jayne Heitmeyer … Katherine Randell; Rebecca Windheim … Kelsey Kozik; Robert Englund … Eli Giles; Michel Perron … Mayor Blatz; and others.
The only thing this film has going for it is Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street) who plays the mad scientist hired by the U.S. Government to create an insect swarm weapon of mass destruction. As the weaponizing wasps are unleashed upon a small town in New York, the mad scientist Eli is trying to figure out how to stop or control them. The single mom sheriff moves back in town with her daughter only to find the love of her life fixing to leave town and only lured to stay because of the wasp trouble given he’s the only exterminator in town. The wasps somehow take over the townspeople turning them into brainless zombies only to serve the hive. The sheriff’s daughter becomes the Queen. See where this is going? Batty … nutty … and a really stupid flick. Not worth its weight. Even if you’re a fan of nature against humans kind of films like me. Rating: 2 stars out of 5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVVQ6NNivpA

My Boyfriends Back (PG: 1993)

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My Boyfriend’s Back

(PG: 1993)

Director: Bob Balaban. Starring: Andrew Lowery … Johnny; Traci Lind … Missy McCloud; Danny Zorn … Eddie; Edward Herrmann … Mr. Dingle; Mary Beth Hurt … Mrs. Dingle; Jay O. Sanders … Sheriff McCloud; and others.

With the same late 80’s/early 90’s comedy flair, “My Boyfriend’s Back” is a classic black comedy about a teen named Johnny Dingle who, in love with a girl named Missy McCloud, from childhood, dies before he can profess his love to her. His love is so strong he returns from the grave to take her to prom. But he has to figure out how to stop himself from decaying, or eating other students, before the prom happens. A classic necrophiliac love comedy. The film covers social mistrust and prejudice so acts as a political satire of the times. It is also of the teen satire in the classic aura of John Hughes. Lots of fun!
Rating: 4 stars out of 5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeqaRvId0nI

Video Vixens (R/NR/X: 1975)

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Video Vixens
(R/NR/X: 1975) * Director: Henri Pachard. Starring: Keith Luckett … Gordon Jr., James Walters … Newscaster, Harrison Phillips … Gordon Gordon, Norman Fields … Clifford Bradley, Cheryl ‘Rainbeaux’ Smith … ‘Twinkle Twat Girl’, and many more …

Another film I wouldn’t have seen if I wasn’t on a movie marathon in watching films that my cousin Cheryl ‘Rainbeaux’ Smith acted in (Twinkle Twat commercial). This is a Troma film classic. For its time, it was rated NR or X, but in this day and age is rated R. A 1975 softcore sex comedy directed by Ron Sullivan under the pseudonym Henri Pachard that is currently distributed by Troma Entertainment. Its all about a mad Director who thinks there is a conspiracy in the government to suppress humankind of the sexual urge and expression. Ticked off by one of his film studio’s movie critics, he’s out to get his television broadcast station WKLITT to broadcast a stag film award show. Presented in the film are several vignettes of stag films intermingled with the preparation of the show, clips from fictional movies, and parodies of sex product commercials. It had its humorous moments, but overall failed to enchant me. Rating: 2.75 stars out of 5.

Ondine (PG-13: 2010)

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Ondine (PG-13: 2010)

* Rated: 5 stars out of 5 * Starring: Colin Farrell … Syracuse; Alicja Bachleda … Ondine; Dervla Kirwan … Maura; Alison Barry … Annie; Marion O’Dwyer … Nurse – Dialysis; Tony Curran … Alex; and many more. * Director: Neil Jordan * http://www.ondinefilm.com/ *

A modern Irish lyrical faerie tale about a fisherman named Syracuse who pulls up a stunning woman in his net called “Ondine”. Her name means “She who came from the sea” and begins to believe his daughter’s theory that Ondine is a selkie or mermaid, a seal woman who in Celtic myth is believed to be able to become human by taking off her seal coat in order to pursue love with a human. They begin to treat Ondine like she is a selkie as many oddities in the situation, the events, and the tale is mystical and tragic. Whenever Ondine is aboard the fishing vessel and sings her siren song, his nets are filled with bounty. It becomes a torrid love affair that turns out to have an even crazier origin of truth. Beautifully woven tale embedded in myth. Brought tears to my eyes and edge of your seat excitement. Why can’t I pull up a beautiful selkie like that in my fishing nets? Amazing plot, storyline, and cinematography.

More Siren films:

Bounty Hunter (PG-13: 2010)

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Bounty Hunter (PG-13: 2010)

* Rated: 3 stars out of 5 * Starring: Gerard Butler … Milo Boyd; Jennifer Aniston … Nicole Hurley; Gio Perez … Uncle Sam; Joel Garland … Dwight (as Joel Marsh Garland); Jason Kolotouros … Gelman; and many more. * Director: Andy Tennant * http://www.thepursuitbegins.com/ *

Its an action drama tale of a run-down cop turned bounty hunter who is set to catch his renegade ex-wife who now has a bounty on her head. He is excited to go arrest her but realizes she’s alot harder to tackle. Turns out his ex-wife is being targeted by the mob as well as the police and Milo becomes chased after by his bookies. It becomes a dangerous and hillarious game of cat chasing mouse, cat trying to keep the mouse, the mouse wriggling out and biting the cat with tons of other cats and dogs getting in the way. Turns out Milo and Nicole still have feelings for one another which confuses the chase and race to stay alive. It is a cute movie. [rating=3]

She’s Out of My League (R: 2010)

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She’s Out of My League (R: 2010)

* Rated: 4 stars out of 5 * Starring: Jay Baruchel … Kirk; Alice Eve … Molly; T.J. Miller … Stainer; Mike Vogel … Jack; Nate Torrence … Devon; Lindsay Sloane … Marnie; and many more. * Director: Jim Field Smith * http://www.getyourrating.com/ *

A hillarious comedy in the style of “40 year old virgin” about a TSA agent named Kirk who is wrapped around the finger of his ex who recently dumped him leaving him in a slump. His friends egg him on that he’ll find someone else. His life changes when the gorgeous blonde Molly comes through his line who accidentally leaves her cell phone which he knightly returns to her. To the shock of his friends, he captivates the attention of this beauty who should be “out of his league” and this causes his ex to become insanely jealous. His heart is torn and confused. Battling with his insecurities and confusion. Its a funny film about insecurities. [rating=4]

Thirst (R: 2009)

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Thirst (R: 2009)
* Director: Chan-wook Park * Starring: Kang-ho Song … Priest Sang-hyeon; Ok-bin Kim … Tae-ju; Hae-sook Kim … Lady Ra; Ha-kyun Shin … Kang-woo; In-hwan Park … Priest Noh; and many more. *

It’s an Asian tale of a Catholic priest named “Sang-Hyun” who is working on a vaccine for a deadly virus. The virus takes a life of its own and takes over the priest pushing him nearly to death but is saved by an accidental transfusion of Vampire Blood. This leads him to an unsatiable appetite for the flesh while struggling with despair and depravity. Entertaining and dark. Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5.

Dorian Gray (R: 2010)

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Dorian Gray (R: 2010)

* Director: Oliver Parker * Starring: Colin Firth … Lord Henry Wotton; John Hollingworth … Patrol Policeman; Caroline Goodall … Lady Radley; Nathan Rosen … Young Dorian; and many more. *
Dorian Gray is a naive young Lord, a lovelorn artist of a man who lives to paint dark pictures of Victorian London and how the experience of life will take its toll on one’s mind, body, and soul. Hauntingly magical, he weaves deceipt, greed, power, and sin. He never ages. Its in the painting. The painting takes its own victims. He falls under the harmful idolotry of Lord Henry Wotton who leads him into an even darker life until he chases after the Wotton’s daughter. Only his portrait shows his aging process as he truly is falling apart. Darksome and gruesome with sinister fantasy. Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5.

Lost Girl: Season 1

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Lost Girl: Season 1
(Television NR: Showcase, 2010)
Creator: M.A. Lovretta. Starring: Anna Silk, Kris Holden-Ried and Ksenia Solo; and many others.

Its an expose of the Faerie world hidden within the human world where the season follows on the sensual charismatic Bo who never really felt at home with the humans tortured by not being able to experience love with them as she drains them to death during sex. She soon discovers she is a Succubus and is not alone, but in a world of the Genus Fae and without a tribe. She’s pushed to choose a tribe with the Dark Fae or the Light Fae, and decides to stay neutral. She becomes a renegade and teams up with a gothy girl human sidekick who becomes an investigator for the abnormal while figuring out who Bo’s mom is and her faerie origins. Falling in love with a Lycanthrope, at ends with the Morrigan, fighting off various species of Fae while keeping things secret from the human world. Full of mythology and faerie lore blended into the modern human world … this is a treasure and an action packed series. A must see for any faerie enthusiast. Rating: 5 stars out of 5

Season 1:

  • Episode 1: It’s a Fae, Fae, Fae, Fae World (September 2010)
  • Episode 2: Where There’s a Will, There’s a Fae (19 September 2010)
  • Episode 3: Oh Kappa, My Kappa (26 September 2010)
  • Episode 4: Faetal Attraction (3 October 2010)
  • Episode 5: Dead Lucky (17 October 2010)
  • Episode 6: Food for Thought (24 October 2010)
  • Episode 7: ArachnoFaebia (31 October 2010)
  • Episode 8: Vexed (7 November 2010)
  • Episode 9: Fae Day (14 November 2010)
  • Episode 10: The Mourning After (21 November 2010)
  • Episode 11: Faetal Justice (28 November 2010)
  • Episode 12: (Dis)Members Only (5 December 2010)
  • Episode 14: Blood Lines (12 December 2010)

Youth in Revolt (R: 2009)

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Youth in Revolt (R: 2009)
Director: Miguel Arteta. Starring: Michael Cera … Nick Twisp / Francois Dillinger; Portia Doubleday … Sheeni Saunders;
Jean Smart … Estelle Twisp; Zach Galifianakis … Jerry; Erik Knudsen … Lefty; Adhir Kalyan … Vijay Joshi; and more.
Another new modern comedy starring Michael Cera as the young 16 year old virgin Nick Twisp who is struggling with his teenage woes. Nick is not happy with his home life but finds relief in the girl next door – Sheeni Saunders that he desires to lose his virginity to. However, she’s not interested in nice Nick. She likes bad boys. Nick’s alter ego, Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde, bad boy “Francois Dillinger” sets out to get the girl and cause as much mischief, havock, and damage as he can when he’s let out. It is a Youth in Revolt. Humorous, dramatic, and captivating. Rating: 4 stars out of 5.